straight/cis people saying “we could have called you slurs, but we didn’t :)” is simultaneously the grossest and funniest thing people say to me on a regular basis.






I made a thing because of reasons.

((And to anyone who’s going to say “I’m broke/Can’t afford the books” I’d like to point out that there is a thing called a Library. That’s how I read them. Mine even had them as ebooks.))

Mine has them as ebooks too :) I think a lot of people aren’t aware of the ebook lending capabilities of many libraries. You guys can totally check the books out of the library and not even leave your house. They are 100% worth reading, so I highly recommend doing so!

I was all set to say mine doesn’t have them, I’ve looked several times. Then I decided to actually check the catalog (usually I just check the shelves because I know where everything I want should be and there are so many on my list I always find a bunch anyway). Actually, they have five physical copies plus an ebook, it’s just that they’re all checked out with a waiting list. It’s great so many are reading them!

Most American libraries should have them. I’d be very surprised if any but the smallest libraries don’t have at least one copy. Shannon Hale is a popular writer and EAH is shaping up to be quite a popular franchise.

Even if your library doesn’t have it, there is always interlibrary loan! Many people do not take advantage of this system or even know how to use it, but your librarian can definitely help you out! Heck, if you can’t find these books in your library catalog or can’t figure out how to find information on interlibrary loan at your library send me a link to your library’s website (not anonymously please. I’d want to be able to respond privately) and I will find it for you. I might as well make some use of my master’s degree in library science while I’m looking for a job at a library.

There’s also editions in Spanish, if one prefers reading in that language. While I haven’t seen any in any other languages, it’s definitely worth looking into because the books are really good. I’m not going to say “you’re not a true fan” if you don’t read them (that’s silly) but it does give a lot of good insights to the characters and I think it’s worth it.




"The Lindworm" by Naomi Butterfield


A King and Queen ruled in a time of peace and abundance; the only mar upon their happiness was that they had no children, through their youth and even into their middle age, despite many fervent hopes and prayers. One day the Queen went walking on a forest path without her attendants. There, in the dark quiet of her despair, an old woman found her. 

"My dear," asked the woman, "why are you so sad?"

"It doesn’t matter," answered the Queen, gently. "It wouldn’t make a difference if you knew."

"You may be surprised." 

"The King and I have no children. He lacks an heir, and I have always wanted a child of my own to care for. But you see, that’s not something you can help."

"Of course it is," nodded the woman, for naturally she was a witch. "Listen and do as I say; take a drinking cup and place it upside-down in your garden tonight. In the morning, you will find two roses beneath it - one red, one white. If you eat the red rose you shall give birth to a son, and the white rose shall give you a girl. But remember that you must not eat both."

"Not both?"

"No," the woman said. 

Astonished, and not a little suspicious, the Queen agreed. That night she did as the old woman had instructed, and in the morning she discovered two small roses under the cup’s brim. 

"But which one should I choose?" thought the Queen. "If I have a son, he may grow into a man who marches off to war and dies. If I have a daughter, she may stay longer with me, but I will have to see her given away in marriage. In the end, I may have no child after all."

At last she decided on the white rose, but it was so sweet to the taste - and the thought of losing a daughter to marriage was so bitter - that she ate the red rose as well, hardly remembering the old woman’s warning.

Shortly afterwards, as happens in such stories, the Queen was found to be with child. Her husband was traveling when the time came for her to give birth, and so he did not bear witness to what happened, which was this:

The Queen’s first child was no child at all, but instead there tumbled forth from her body the long, scaly one of a lindworm, a hideous dragon with a venomous bite. It scrabbled out the window on its two legs, even before the terrified midwives could move to do anything, and amidst the chaos the Queen delivered a second child as well. This one was a fine, handsome boy, healthy and perfectly formed, and the Queen made her midwives swear that they would tell no one what they had seen. And when the King arrived home, joyous at the news of his son’s birth, not a word was said. 

Years passed, so that the Queen wondered if it had not been a terrible dream. Soon enough it came time for the prince to find a wife, and he set out with his guard to a neighboring kingdom to ask for its princess’s hand in marriage. But suddenly a great lindworm appeared, and laid itself before the prince’s horse, and from its jagged-tooth mouth came a voice:

"A bride for me before a bride for you!"

The prince and his company turned about to flee. The Lindworm blocked their passage and spoke again.

"A bride for me before a bride for you!"

The prince journeyed home to tell his parents. Distraught, the Queen confessed that it was true. The Lindworm was indeed the elder brother of the prince, and so by rights should marry first. The King wrote to the ruler of a distant land, asking that they send their princess to marry his son: but he did not say which one.

A lovely princess journeyed to the kingdom, and did not see her bridegroom until he appeared beside her in the Great Hall, and by then (naturally) it was too late. The next morning they found the Lindworm asleep alone in the bridal bedchamber, and it was quite clear he had devoured his new wife. 

A second princess was sent, and a third. Both met the same fate, but each time the prince dared to embark on a journey, the Lindworm would appear again and speak: 

"A bride for me before a bride for you!"

"Father," the prince said, " we must find a wife for my elder brother."

"And where am I to find her?" asked the King. "We have already made enemies of the men who sent their daughters to us. Stories are spreading fast, and I am sure no princess would dare to come now."

So instead the King went to the royal gardener’s cottage, where he knew the old man lived with his only daughter. 

"Will you give me your daughter to marry my son, the Lindworm?" asked the King.

"No!" cried the gardener. "Please, she is everything I have in this world. Your monstrous son has eaten his way through three princesses, and he’ll gobble her up just the same. She’s too good for such a fate.”

"You must," the King said, "You must."

Distraught, the gardener told his daughter everything. She agreed to the King’s request and went into the forest so that her father would not see her weeping.

And there, in the dark quiet of her despair, an old woman found her. 

"My dear," asked the woman, "why are you so sad?"

"I’m sorry," answered the girl, kindly. "It wouldn’t make a difference if I told you."

"You may be surprised." 

"How can that be? I’m to be married to the King’s son, the Lindworm. He’s eaten his first three brides, and I don’t know what will stop me from meeting the same end. That’s not something  you can help me with."

"Of course it is," nodded the woman again. "Listen and do as I say. Before the marriage ceremony, dress yourself in ten snow-white shifts beneath your gown. Ask that a tub of lye, a tub of milk, and as many birch rods as a man can carry be brought to your bridal chamber. After you are wed, and your husband orders you to disrobe, bid him to shed a skin first. He will ask you this nine times, and when you are left wearing one shift you must whip him with the rods, wash him in the lye, bath him in the milk, wrap him in the discarded shifts, and hold him in your arms."

"Do I truly have to hold him?" the girl asked, in disgust.

"You must. It may mean your life."

The girl was suspicious, but she agreed to the woman’s plan however absurd it seemed. When the day came for the marriage, she dressed herself in ten white shifts before donning the heavy gown they offered her. When she looked upon her husband for the first time, waiting for her in the Great Hall, her steps did not falter. And when she asked for the rods, the lye, and the milk, she said it with such ease that the servant could do nothing but obey.

Finally, the girl and the Lindworm were left alone in the darkened bedchamber. For a moment she listened to the rasp and click of his scales on stone, and heard his soughing breath. 

"Maiden," said the Lindworm, "shed your shift for me."

"Prince Lindworm," answered the girl, "shed your skin first!"

"No one has ever asked me that before," the answer came.

"I am asking it of you now." 

So the Lindworm shed a skin, and the girl shed a shift, but she revealed the second shift underneath. 

"Maiden," said the Lindworm, a second time, "shed your shift for me."

"Prince Lindworm," answered the girl, again, "shed your skin first!"

They repeated this, nine times in all, and each time the Lindworm shed a skin the girl removed another white shift, until she was left wearing one.

The Lindworm, shivering and weak and bloodied, spoke his request a last time.

"Wife," asked the Lindworm, "will you shed your shift for me?"

"Husband,"answered the girl, "will you shed your skin first?"

And the Lindworm did as she asked of him, tearing himself free of scales and armor even to the bare flesh beneath, and the girl whipped the writhing creature with her birch rods until they snapped; she carried the whole massive length of him to the tubs, lye and milk, washed him clean and bathed him and swathed him in the shifts like a great, terrible child, collapsed to the floor with her husband in her arms, and there she stayed until, exhausted, she fell asleep.

When she woke, it was to the timid knocking of a servant on the door. 

"Princess?" asked the servant. "Princess? Are you alive?"

The girl looked about the bedchamber: there in the morning light were the dried skins, and the tubs, and the broken rods, and the blood, and in her arms slept a pale, weary, but very handsome man. 

"Yes," she answered. "Yes, I am."

The King and Queen were astounded and thrilled to hear how the girl had saved their son from his curse, and she ruled together with her husband for many long years, and thus closes our tale of the most intense game of strip poker that you shall ever hear.

This whole tale is amazing. I lost it at the last part oh man.





"Men’s Rights" activist and self-proclaimed philosopher Stefan Molyneux pretends to be a woman posting a positive comment on his own video “debunking” Frozen but completely fails at account switching

oh wow



Okay, now book Apple is the greatest. I’m not even through The Unfairest of Them All and my love has grown ten-fold.

I’ve always headcanoned Apple as a lesbian (not sure whether I ship her more with Ashlynn or Faybelle) but I wouldn’t mind her going on a few awkward dates with Pear.

I see ships and a name I’m not familiar with and I hope you’re willing to tell me about them.

okay, yes, calming down bc I don’t really talk about my ships very often and it’s super exciting~

Applynn was born after True Heart’s Day. Apple just became more concerned about Ashlynn than I’ve ever seen, apart from herself. I could just see them being a really laid-back, girly couple.

I don’t even know why Apple/Faybelle (Faypple? Appelle?) is even a thing but it’s legit one of my favorite pairings because of they’re so different. Faybelle’s really sour and cynical while Apple is sweet, and a little naive despite how smart she is. And they’re both so driven to fulfill their destinies, I could see them bonding over it. And I don’t think Faybelle would be the type of person to suck up to Apple, while Apple wouldn’t be afraid of Faybelle in return.

Pear on the other hand, is a servant that works in the Buff castle. He called Apple kind and generous, and acted really flustered around her. They didn’t specify his age, but I assumed he was young. I don’t want to start shipping them and then realize he’s 46 or something :/

(Source: poisrouge)

Okay, now book Apple is the greatest. I’m not even through The Unfairest of Them All and my love has grown ten-fold.

I’ve always headcanoned Apple as a lesbian (not sure whether I ship her more with Ashlynn or Faybelle) but I wouldn’t mind her going on a few awkward dates with Pear.

#signal boost


Guys this Hannah . Her Instagram is _ lemeeoww_
on the 4th she went missing from the Toronto Warped Tour event . Please if you have seen her anywhere contact the police at (416-808-2200) or her cousin on Instagram . Please signal boost this and help her home .

I can’t even put into words how much it means to me when people who are visiting Disneyland or Disney World ask Mary to say hello to me. Thank you so much , glindyupland, once again! <3 (even though this was like ages ago, haha. But still <3)


i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

(Source: tinylobelia)



Kevin’s smile brings in all the boys.

I promised I’d make a little post moderately sized review about The Story Book of Legends so here goes nothing. Spoilers for The Storybook of Legends below.

Read More









Why don’t most superheroines look like this?

Because most comic books are drawn by men.

Reblogging for artistic reference.

Yes. Artistic reference is why I am reblogging this.

This is why I hate it when people draw the likes of Wonder Woman or Power Girl or She-Hulk without making them muscular because ‘that’s not feminine’. Because clearly, you know, it bloody well is.

Totally reblogging for the artistic reference. Definitely.

Uuhhhhhhhhhhh…….*falls over*

Just reblogging cause she’s hot, not even an artistu

(Source: fitgrills)